Spoilt

I hate not getting what I want. I want someone to like me but the truth is that no one ever has. I want HIM to think of me as a best friend if not a girlfriend but he only thinks of me as one of his many close friends. It is heartbreaking to realize that you have been abruptly woken up from the most wonderful dream that in truth was too good to be true in the first place. I long to be loved. I doubt that I really like him. It's just that he is always there so I have chosen him to fill the satisfaction of my own lonely and loveless life. I have been spoilt by the television and romance books that tell tales of true love and everlasting marriages. But when I look around me all I seem to see is divorce cases flocking into court rooms like birds that flock away during the winter. Is there such a thing as true love? Even if there isn't, I want it. I want someone to love me, hold me and cherish me the way Romeo did Juliet. The fact that he regards me as his 20th closest friend, and after a string of other girls, should be a slap in the face for me. But I still want him to love me. No. NO, not him. Anybody. Anybody would do. He is just another unlucky person whom I have thrust a shining suit of armour onto. He himself means nothing to me. I feel like such an idiot. And I probably am. But what the heck, I am still young and ignorant. I want to find my true love before I turn 27. That gives me about 12 more years. Wish me luck!!!